he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
