I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
