i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
