Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
