Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Randomize
