I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
