also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
