it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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