if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
