Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
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i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless