now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.