Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment