our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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