I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
