I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
