Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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