a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
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a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
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He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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