at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
