Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you

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(847): View more from Illinois

Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....

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(647): View more from Ontario

I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS

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(216): View more from Ohio

When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.

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(443): View more from Maryland

you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen

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(931): View more from Tennessee

I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays

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