whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
