i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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