Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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