Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
