i just google imaged poop.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize