If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
