it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
