brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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