Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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