i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
