If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
