Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
