I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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