evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
