Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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