More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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