i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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