haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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