the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
