The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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