We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
