i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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