Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
