Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I didn't notice because vodka
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
