oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
