you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
