omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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