WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
