I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize