Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
