my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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