Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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