If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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