the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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