I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
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While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
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I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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