Non-Jews are for practice
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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