for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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