found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
