His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It's never too late to be topless.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize