HIV tests are more positive than that guy
too bad you live with your parents still
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
