I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
it was like his penis was on wheels.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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