i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
