when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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