Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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