she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize