Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
